If I have received one “WARNING” email, I’ve received 1,000...
WARNING: Don’t get back in your car while pumping gas or you might blow up.
WARNING: Check the rear seat of your car before getting in. You never know when someone might be back there.
WARNING: If you find a water bottle on the ground, don’t pick it up. It may blow your hand off.
WARNING: Don’t stand too close to your car when you unlock it. Someone may be lying under your car with a knife and slice your ankle sending you plummeting to the ground.
WARNING: Don’t allow a cop to pull you over in a desolate place. It may not actually be a cop. Or if it is a cop, it might not be a good one.
And the list goes on and on. Without discounting the severity of these warnings, I must now add one to the list that should never, UNDER ANY CERTAIN TERMS, be ignored.
WARNING: Never, EVER, under any circumstance, use your iPhone Bible in church. You just might bump the iPod button, inadvertently, of course, (even though you were TOTALLY reading the Bible and listening to the sermon, not playing on your iPhone) and send music blaring across rows upon rows of people who are now staring at you in disbelief. As well, your brain might shut down due to panic and it may take you 20 seconds or more to figure out how to shut it off. Or, you might be so discombobulated that you can’t figure out how to turn it off at all, even after 20 seconds. Instead, you may have to run out of the church bringing music AND a choreographed panic routine to the other rows of people who may have missed the party. And you might forget to grab your purse requiring the walk of shame to retrieve it later in the service.
This all brings me to my second equally as critical warning…
WARNING: Never, under ANY circumstances, share your iTunes account with your 11-year-old daughter. Cause then, if you are using your iPhone Bible in church and you accidentally bump your iPod button which inadvertently begins to blast music, it just might be Hannah Montana.
No comments:
Post a Comment