A Trip to the Beach

I recently read the following quote in reference to the marital relationship: “Think of your relationship as the emotional environment in which your kids live. Just as you want them to breathe clean air and drink pure water, you want them to grow up in a loving atmosphere” (Parents magazine, June 2008, p. 108).
We woke up the other morning with the whole day ahead of us. It was a summer holiday and my husband had the day off from work. The sun was shining and it was sure to be a beautiful day! It was Friday which meant a hiatus from swim lessons and summer school. I felt like a little kid in the candy store frantically attempting to discern the best way to use this little gem. The reality is that both my husband and I were tired and an ideal day for us would have been to alternate between lounging around the house and getting a few things done, while our children enjoyed a movie marathon. However, in spite of our fatigue, we made the decision to head to the beach with the kids. We knew that they would enjoy a family outing. Or would they?
Because we pressed ourselves when we didn’t really have it in us, in many ways, our efforts seemed to backfire. Between packing a picnic lunch, loading the car, and stopping by the store for some drinks and ice, the marital bickering was at an all-time high. Silly things of no consequence seduced us into sabotaging the day before it even started. A little bit of traffic and our inability to agree on a radio station left us tense. Despite my efforts to adopt the mantra “a harsh word stirs up anger but a gentle word turns away wrath,” I found myself baiting my poor husband at every turn. Although the day provided some nice weather and time away, as we sat in the nasty traffic for the trip home, I began to decide that we had made a bad choice by dragging our sorry butts to the beach. As I sunk my teeth into that sentiment, my ears tuned into the back seat where I heard my two daughters giggling and playing games. With sibling rivalry having been at an all-time high as of late, the sounds brought pure joy to my heart. Even though we were sitting in traffic, the extra time for the two of them created some space for sisterly bonding. I revisited my initial thought and came to a new conclusion. Life is often very mixed and this day was no different. While some aspects of our day felt like a train wreck, others felt like a pure gift and I guess that’s okay. While I can say that I don’t think I regret our day anymore, it did hold within it a little lesson. I want to give my kids everything, but if I give them everything at the expense of my husband and I running ourselves ragged, I can make a big mistake. I can fail to give them one of the most precious gifts that we have to offer and that is the gift of growing up in a loving atmosphere. I guess that means that my husband and I have to take our own thoughts, feelings, and limitations into consideration. On some days, that may even mean saving the beach for another day.